The Art of Giving a Fuck.

The Art of Giving a Fuck.

People often write about the life-changing magic of not giving a fuck. We’re meant to salute this band of nae-carers, to commend them for their ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude. Buy into the propaganda, re-blog, re-pin, re-affirm. Try not to give a fuck ourselves (or at least, to appear not to) all the while, of course, giving more hypothetical ‘fucks’ than ever. I want to talk about the lost art of giving a fuck.

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This is not the type of slogan you’re going to see splurged across social media. It’s not going to be printed on journals, badges, tote bags and t-shirts. It won’t sell because, I suppose, it’s always going to be cooler not to care; to appear unaffected by the politics of muddling through.

There are hundreds of things that I categorically do not give a fuck about. A vague shortlist is as follows: whoever went out in last week’s X Factor, Midsummer Murders, Gala Bingo, The Real Housewives of Potomac (where even is Potomac?), Kylie Jenner’s lipstick range, dog clothing, shoelaces, Susan Boyle’s pop career, the Vegan crusade. There is, however, a much longer, much more sobering, list of things that I will always care about. Unashamedly, unapologetically…

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Firstly, I’d like to clarify that I do understand claiming not to give a fuck is more complicated than simply not caring. I suppose this declaration is more an affirmation that you are, in some way, unaffected by the ‘ag’ associated with emotional investment. A statement of armour against the various trivialities of everyday interactions. And, I get it. I can’t count how many times I’ve tried to convince myself that I ought to be unaffected by other people’s opinions, by their words, their criticism. It’s easier said than done, and sometimes, yes, we do need to reject the negativity poised against us.

But, here’s my two cents. We are human beings, warm-blooded and hard wired to give a shit. It’s not something we should be ashamed of. People say there is an art to not giving a fuck. I disagree. Not giving a fuck is, actually no art-form. It doesn’t warrant a pat on the back, a high-five. Because to simply say you do not care is to miss the point. There is a difference between being indifferent and being okay with being different.

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Give all the fucks, put your all into achieving the things you want to achieve. Invest your love and time in the people who matter most and use any negativity you encounter to propel your own success. After all, the best fuck you is being happy.

This is something i’m slowly learning myself…There will always be someone in the front row waiting to see you fall. Things won’t always be perfect (very rarely, actually) and sometimes shit actually just happens, but only you have the power to let that define your experience. To say you don’t give a fuck is to detract from your own strength.

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It’s okay to care what people think. To want someone to see what you’ve got to offer, to share what you’ve got to give. It’s also okay to accept when you’re getting nowhere and re-adjust. To give a little more time to the people and the things that make you feel invincible and a little less attention to the opinions you cannot change. Give a fuck, if you can. Give a fuck until you have no more fucks to give because you are happy or because you have given it your best shot and realise you deserve better.

Be the person who cares too much. It’s not a weakness and it could be your biggest strength. It’ll be the reason people can’t stand you and the reason people love you. But you’ll never succeed if you don’t want to. If you don’t give a fuck.

All the love,

KJ xo

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Growing Pains | Twenty One and Clueless

Growing Pains | Twenty One and Clueless

I’ve been a real adult twenty-one year old for just under two months now and nothing has changed. I’m yet to detect any wrinkles, grey hairs or anything at all to really to signify this oh-so-significant coming of age. In short, I’m completely unimpressed. My transition to supposed ‘adulthood’ has been altogether uninspiring. There has been no ethereal transformation, no magic ‘this is it’ moment, I am still very much myself. My Dr Martens are yet to transform into LouBoutins and my un-ironic knitwear collection is yet to shape-shift into the sharp Devil Wears Prada-esque attire one would associate with a twenty-something doing it ‘right’. Have I missed something? I’m still me… Is that okay? Yes. 

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What I have come to realise, at the grand old age of 21 is that it’s okay to be a little clueless. If i’ve learnt anything from GIRLS, Fleabag, Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus, it’s that most of us are just muddling through, and sometimes the muddle is half the fun. Thus, I have a compiled a completely uncomprehensive list of things that it really is alright not to have figured out by the time you reach this (not so) momentous age.

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1. It is totally okay for you not to know what you’re doing with your life. This is the big one. Something happens, not to you, but to everyone around you, just after you’ve blown out those candles and polished off that last slice of Colin the Caterpillar cake. People expect you to have it all figured out. Overnight you are obligated to have some sort of epiphany about your future, the stars are meant to align and you’re supposed to have a grasp of the dreaded 5 year plan. You’re meant to understand what you want to do with that degree you’ve been studying for (or at least very least have an idea of how to start your dissertation), you’re meant to apply for a credit card (and not be rejected – again), you’re meant to have a glowing GPA and a stand out CV and you’re meant to bloody understand how Linkden works. You’re meant to be a philanthropist and be on a committee for a charity, or have a by-line in the times, and have a grasp of exactly how bills work and tax and bloody Spotify subscriptions. But, you don’t, and no one does, and that’s okay. That’s what wine is for.

2. It’s okay to wish you were a little less you and a little more someone else. This is one you’re not meant to agree with. You’re meant to achieve total empowerment in your twenties. You should, by now, have learned to love all your wobbly bits and have acquired some sort of inner peace with the you-that you are, and all the things you are not and will never be. That being said, i’m going to say it is also okay not to feel that way. You are allowed to lust after a little of what someone else has; to appreciate what other people have got and be unafraid to say you want a slice of it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself or taking inspiration from someone you admire to do that. Role models aren’t always unhealthy. You can learn a lot from other people’s confidence, how they have learned to love their wobbly bits, their not-so perfect somethings, so long as you also do a little of appreciating your own.

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3. It’s okay to have no concept of how long is too long to go without putting a wash on. This is self explanatory, but seriously, does anyone know how long is too long? No. Don’t worry about it. It’s also okay that it still takes you half an hour to change your bed sheets and that you often find yourself stuck in the duvet cover. It’s not as easy as your mum always made it look…

4. It is never just you.I promise, someone else feels the same. Someone else will feel it tomorrow, next week. It will pass.

5. It’s alright to admit that you’re lonely. This is a big one. Even when you’re surrounded by friends, family, deadlines, things to do, it’s okay for you to feel a little on your own. Chances are someone you think has it all figured out is sitting at home feeling exactly the same. Ps, ferociously swiping on Tinder will not fill this void. Pals and ice-cream, however, will help.

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6. It’s not a weakness to ask for help. Whether it’s asking your tutor what the bloody hell an annotated bibliography is, admitting that you’re lost and Google Maps is actually not your friend or asking your flatmate how to defrost a month old Lasagne your mum made for  you: just ask. You’ll save a lot of time and you might learn something. it’s not a weakness to admit you don’t have a clue.

7. It is completely acceptable for you to admit that you actually, un-ironically, enjoyed every moment of watching Jane the Virgin. It’s amazing, it’s got five stars on Netflix for a reason, trust me.

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8. It’s also okay for you to (again completely un-ironically) confess that you read your horoscope every week like it’s gospel. It’s okay to have faith in your sun-sign, but please, do not do what I have done and lock yourself indoors all day because “it’s looking like Leo may run into an ex-boyfriend in Sainsbury’s sometime between the hours of 12 and 4pm on Monday the 15th of May”. That’s actually insane. Also, don’t complain to Cosmopolitan when they get your weekly predictions wrong; they don’t respond well and they will block you from theirTwitter account, rude.

9. It’s okay to feel hurt. 

10. It’s okay that you don’t always love your life. Because no-one ever does. Just savour the moments that you do: there will always be more.

11. It’s okay to admit that the last book you genuinely enjoyed reading was part of the Harry Potter franchise. Because, let’s face it – nothing could be better.

12. It’s okay for you to still feel that the only music that truly speaks to your soul is an angsty old Kate Nash album. Foundations, amirite?

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13. Regretfully, it is also okay to admit that you’ve already booked tickets to see her live next again next month. (I’m lying, this is completely unacceptable, but you’ve paid for it now so you’d better go)

14. It’s okay to call your friends out when they’re being shitty. We’ve all done it and sometimes we all just need to hear it. Plus, if they’re a real pal they will already know and you’ll get through it.

15. It’s okay for them to call you out too. Because, the same thing applies to you.

16. You are allowed to eat the pizza. Dominos is your friend, that’s why they text you so often.

17. You are not allowed to punish yourself for eating the pizza. Have a salad tomorrow.

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18. It’s okay that you have no concept of how LinkedIn actually works. I mean, seriously? What’s the point in even having one when they only thing on your CV is a part time job in Cath Kidston? ALSO people can see when you’ve viewed your profile so STOP showing everyone your ex boyfriend’s profile. Yes it’s hilarious, but everyone will know you’re being a crazy ex and (let’s face it) that’s a reality you’d rather keep under wraps.

19. It’s okay to say you don’t like that TV show that everyone else is obsessed with *cough* Drag Race. Just because it’s trending doesn’t mean you have to love it, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to memorise the tag-lines just to feel relevant… Sashay away, indeed.

20. It’s okay to say you LOVE something that has never and will never be cool. Embrace it, it will be ironic/cool/inspired/trendy again in a couple of years and you’ll be in on the joke.

21. It’s okay to trip over, just, for goodness sake, pick yourself back up again. 

Thanks for reading,

Katy J xo

Passport to Paradise | Greek Island Adventure

Passport to Paradise | Greek Island Adventure

This time last week I set off to Greece for a little adventure, equipped with one bulging suitcase and one wonderful little lady (mum). Jane and I hopped on the plane in Scotland and took off for a week of undiluted relaxation in in the closest place to paradise we could think of, the stunning Marbella Hotel in Corfu. What followed was a week of absolute bliss. Days and nights spent sipping on Mojitos by the beach and doing, well, very little else… Aside from the obvious overindulging, of course! Usually, when it comes to holidays, i’m much more of a city breaker. I guess I fancy myself something more of a do-er than a by the pool-er… Not today folks! I’m unashamed to say that this get away was all about the CHILL. The only exploring done on this holiday was confined to the top shelf of the pool bar. 

 SO, here’s a little week in pictures. A closer look at my OOTD/N and some of the gorgeous vistas/cocktails on offer at the gorgeous Marbella resort.



The hotel was absolutely stunning, located over-looking a private beach, with three stunning pools and outdoor areas. 3 a la carte restaurants and vino on every corner. Heaven? Right. It sure felt like it (trust me, we made the most of it!) 



Here are two of my favourite outfits from the trip…

Excuse the TMI but I often suffer with bloating in hot climates (it’s either that or the cocktails and bread took a toll, but no, i’m sticking with bloating, sounds much more not my fault)… SO it was important to wear things that looked good and felt good. This little dress from Topshop became my holiday saviour for that very reason. This gorgeous red wrap around is so flattering and can be adjusted to suit whatever size you may be! Hallelujah, amirite? The floral print is also super on trend, effortless and young. I teamed this with croc sandals from Office and my staple hoop earrings.


 Next up on the favourite list is this little combination. I found this gorgeous skirt in Zara – it’s a STUNNING shape, nipped right in at the waist to give you that super flattering, feminine look. There’s something about a navy and white stripe that just screams summer to me, so I kept it basic and teamed this look with a white body (River Island), Hollister earrings, and these gorgeous clog-effect heels from Office.

Thanks for reading guys and dolls! Let me know where you’re off to on your holidays in the comments!

Lots of love,

Katy J xo

Colour me Summer | Outfit Update

Colour me Summer | Outfit Update

I haven’t made a post like this in what feels like a hundred years. I suppose there are a multitude of reasons for this hiatus, the majority of which can be condensed into the simple, I wasn’t feeling it. Broadcasting ‘how to’ guides on dressing well and feeling good in the skin you’re in is easy when you’re preaching truth and (honestly) pointless when what you’re putting out there is a fabrication. Sometimes we experience lows that even a good insta-filter and a well fitting pair of Topshop jeans cannot repair, but, c’est la vie and all that… 
I’ve made no secret of the fact the last few months have been pretty challenging for me. We all have these moments of individual crisis: those, who am I and why am I so different from the me I knew last year moments.Moments when you only see grey (and that size 8 dress you haven’t been able to fit into for months). This has been my life for the past 6 months, and it’s shitty. It’s exhausting to watch yourself give up. To cut your losses and deny yourself the things that used to give you happiness: shut down. Recently though, i’ve opted for a different approach…
My philosophy is simple, i’m not going to give up this time. Over the past couple of months i’ve started losing a little weight, trying a little harder and putting myself out there a little more: it’s paying off. That dress isn’t so scary, the grades are going up, the opportunities are reappearing and i’m ready to take them on (ish). So, last step, i’m posting again. *warning* this post features celebratory Prosecco, because Dutch courage was 70% responsible for this particular garden photoshoot.
As i’m starting to feel more like myself, i’m beginning to remember why I started blogging and what it is i’ve always loved about playing dress up. I’ve spent 80% of this year slobbing around in size 12 jumpers that were dying to fit me, but now, as i’ve shed that extra stone i’d been carrying, i’m feeling a little closer to my old self. Old me loved clashing prints, bold colours and was unapologetic about it, new me is getting there…
So here goes. This is an outfit that i’m absolutely loving. It’s a really ‘easy to wear’ look that fits almost every occasion. Let’s talk about the skirt… This skirt is one from my all time favourite Topshop.
Even when I was feeling at my worst I could usually guarantee that Toppers would have something to flatter. This skirt is perfect for those who want to be a little bit experimental but stay comfortable and relaxed looking. I picked this one up in the size 10 and it’s nice and roomy. The length is very flattering and probably works best with a slight heel, although i’ve paired it with trainers before for a slightly more sport luxe affect. STUNNING.
There are so many colours to play with when wearing this skirt but I have decided to bring out the green. I picked up this little crinkle, off shoulder top from M & S of all places, love it.
Lastly, these shoes are an absolute dream (Topshop) I love the bright colours and the intricate paisley detail. They look scary, but trust me they go with everything! A modern classic.

That’s all folks. More posts to come xo

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Origins | Spring Skincare

Origins | Spring Skincare

Hello lovelies! So, it’s Easter. This probably means you’ve spent the past couple of weeks gorging on creme eggs and treating yourself to whatever goodies the Easter Bunny left in Tesco’s bargain bin. Right? Just incase you feel like treating your body as well as your belly, here’s a little look at some gorgeous skin care that i’ve been loving this month. 
 
These miniatures are part of a gorgeous set courtesy of Origins. The set retails at £25 and includes: a sample sized Ginzing scrub cleanser, Modern Friction, Drink Up Intensive (overnight mask) and a full sized Ginzing moisturiser. This is an amazing package which you can pick up from Boots. TO give you an idea of just how much of a bargain you’re getting… The moisturiser alone retails for £24… You can thank me later.
This little set has revived my skin. The natural ingredients and fresh aromas make taking care of your self a pleasure. My top products are from the ‘Ginzing’ range.

Nothing quite wakes you up like this gorgeous face wash. The tangy scent is refreshing and it’s something I look forward to every morning. The texture is light and the scrub not too abrasive – that’s what Modern Friction is for… On top of this I apply the gorgeous Ginzing moisturiser. This product is light and non greasy. It’s fragranced with the same gorgeous top notes. Orange creme.
Each evening i’ve been working to combat bad breakouts. That’s why Modern Friction has become a staple in my beauty cabinet. The scrub is thorough but not too intensive and smells bloomin’ gorgeous. My skin has significantly improved since I incorporated this product into my regime. It’s a tougher scrub and shouldn’t be OVER used.
Last up, it’s a drop of luxury. Drink Up Intensive. As the name would suggest, this product is NOT for every day use. It’s a little treat to be used once or twice a week. I love this product, but have to use it sparingly so as not to over clog my oily skin. The application is smooth and your skin will thank you for quenching it’s thirst during these April showers. This product works to restore vitality and elasticity. Waking up the next morning your skin will feel supple and renewed. You’ll be ready to crawl out from under the duvet and take on the day. (remember, don’t forget to apply to the face and neck).
I love these products and can’t believe how much of a STEAL this sample set is.
Let me know what you think/how you’re putting a SPRING in your step this Easter.
KJ xoxo
What’s on my Face? | Make up Haul

What’s on my Face? | Make up Haul

Hello gorgeous readers! This weeks post is a simple everyday make up look. I’m going to give you a little glimpse into what’s in my make up bag this season. This time it’s mostly drug-store products, along with a couple of old faithfuls from slightly pricer brands. Let’s get into it. 

 


Base

As most of you know, i’m a poor student, so buying high end every time isn’t really an option. I’ve gone for mostly mid-range beauty bits in this haul, featuring products which will look amazing without breaking the bank! I have always had issues with acne and so it’s especially important that I take care of my skin when it’s acting up. Cleanse and moisturise… You know the drill. First up, I picked up this No 7 ‘Airbrush Away’ primer a couple of months ago. It is pore minimising and completely mattifying, giving your skin that velvet finish, allowing your make-up to glide on smoothly! Like Porefessional by Benefit, but a little cheaper (and usually on a 3 for 2 deal in Boots).


Because of my generally bad skin I need to use products which a mid-to-full coverage  (usually something like Mac’s Studio Fix/Sculpt). Recently I picked up this foundation by L’oréal. It’s their Infallible 24hr Matte base in shade 11, vanilla. This product is amazing. The colour is a perfect match and doesn’t come off too yellow toned, perfect for my pale complexion! It’s v high coverage and really reminds me of MAC’s studio sculpt, but thankfully for my student budget, it’s half the price!

Next, something a little more pricey. To combat any blemishes i’ve returned to my trusty ‘boi-ing’ by Benefit. This is a pretty heavy duty concealer and it really works. The consistency is perfect for targeting breakouts, hiding those nasty red spots without looking cakey. This product also has healing properties so works to visibly reduce inflammation throughout the day. It’s a little more expensive, but it really works and still cheaper than its high-end counterparts e.g. Laura Mercier ‘Secret Camouflage’. I picked this up in shade 01.

 

Finally, I picked up a couple of No 7 goodies: it was three for two after all! I’ve got the Perfect Light pressed powder in Translucent. A handy compact which works to reduce shine and hold that base in place all day long. As well as this I picked up a cheaper bronze/highlight duo. This was an act of necessity as I touched pan on my Charlotte Tilbury ‘Bronze and Glow’ this week. To prolong wee Charlotte’s shelf life, I decided to grab this dupe for everyday use, and I love it! The product comes in a similarly gorgeous rose gold compact. The bronze is extremely warmed toned and looks natural/not too shimmery. I may actually prefer the bronzing portion to B&G, and that’s saying something!! (less than half the price!)

Eyes

Next up it’s eyes/eye brows… For my lids i’ve gone back to L’Oréal and their gorgeous nude eye palletes. This one is from the Colour Riche range in the shade ‘Les Ombres’. These warm and shimmery shades make for the perfect, warm, every day eye look. I find myself coming up with dozens of looks just using these shades. Gorgeous neutrals that can be amped up with the application of defined eye-liner.

Liner wise, I always go for a felt tip applicator. This mechanism allows for a more precise application, allowing me to create the perfect cat eye time and time again. This one is No 7 ‘Stay Precise’ in blackest black. I follow this up with No 7’s Velvet Lash mascara in the same shade. (I promise i’m not sponsored, just can’t resist a bargain!)

Lastly, it’s brows. This is my favourite Benefit product, their Browzings kit in ‘light’. The kit comes with two applicators, tweezers and of course the brow colour itself. I first apply the wax to carve out that perfect brow arch, then fill in the gaps with the soft powder. I used to use (abuse) this product when I first started using make up, and I have to say, less is more with this ladies. BUT if you want to achieve that perfect Lily Collin’s brow definition, this is the way to do it.

Lips

Last but not least, on the lips it’s got to be my old faithful – Twig by Mac (which I have written about before). The perfect colour compliment for a more neutral ‘every day’ look.

 

So, that’s it – my everyday face! Let me know what you think/if you think there’s any other products I should try out!

KJ xoxo

Moonfish Cafe | A Review

Moonfish Cafe | A Review

Recently, I visited the gorgeous Moonfish Cafe restaurant in Aberdeen. This relaxed and stylish eatery is located in Aberdeen’s merchant quarter, offering a tasteful injection of sophisticated dining in the heart of the city. We were lucky enough to snag a table at Moonfish on Friday night, after weeks of waitlisting. And, i’ve got to tell you, it was worth it. 
The restaurant is intimate. Stylish. Clean lines only disturbed by packed tables. Featured artwork. Shelves populated with their extensive Gin collection. Features which establish their effortless aesthetic dissolving any fear of pretentiousness off the plate.
Portion sizes at Moonfish are small, but perfectly formed. Delicate and innovative twists on traditional courses, accompanied, naturally, by a G&T. Despite the unfortunate guarantee that while sipping on an Edinburgh Gin my judgement is a little compromised, I can assure you the first portion of the evening was gorgeous. However, post bottle of Pinot Noir the desert may be a little hazy… I’m kidding! The whole evening was delish.

So, what did I eat? To start, I opted for the Confit Salmon with Crab, fennel and lemon. Followed by the Fillet of Beef, accompanied with leeks, nettle pesto and salsify. And the Chocolate, pecan, orange, oats to finish.

This medley was the perfect dinner out. The portion sizes meant that, despite the elaborate nature of the meal itself, I wasn’t over stuffed or burdened. The flavours were adventurous yet grounded in the familiar. An absolute treat and a gorgeous night out.
 
Star course: The main. The fillet of Beef was succulent and packed with flavour. Tender and more-ish. 
 
Call them up, book your next meal out at Moonfish. You won’t regret it.