Here’s my run down of things YOU should definitely do AND some things you shouldn’t feel guilty for giving a miss.
Aesthetics are everything- get comfy. This mostly applies to those of you who have ventured out of the house and moved away for university. I know from experience just how daunting this can be, and there are way more complications than just not knowing how to turn on a washing machine. ( I know, i’m useless )… But seriously, you want this space to be yours – you might not have that much free reign, I KNOW there is only so much you can do with one pin-board… But try. This will be your study space, dining room, chill out place and nap spot – so make it pretty. Take lots of photos and sentimental bits with you that remind you of home, familiarity is everything when you’re faced with something new.
Join societies. This is probably rule number one in any ‘how to be social’ guide – and trust me, the socials really are great… Getting involved in societies is a brilliant idea. Not only does it affiliate you more with the ongoings on campus BUT it allows you to become more of the person you were scared to be at school. Uni is huge, there are no cliques – that I can see – and everyone is accepted. There really is a club for everyone, so make the most of it! Get involved. Where else can you be a pole dancing, skiing cat enthusiast? I became more active in societies during my second semester and I WISHED then that I could go back and give Fresher me a shake and tell her to get involved. Even if you hate it, you’re meeting people and that, in itself, is comforting. CHANCES are you will love it… For ME It’s re-established a love for drama that I thought i’d lost.
Don’t let a bad environment get the better of you. Chances are your flat won’t be perfect. MINE certainly wasn’t. There was nothing WRONG with the people, they were just quite antisocial and we didn’t have much in common… It was so easy for me to let that get the better of me. It’s much easier to close the door and cry than to get out and FIND people who want to be your pal. (That’s where societies come in…). I had a pretty rough start to my university experience because I was relying on people who, for whatever reason, were doing their own thing. AND that’s fine, it’s what I should have been doing. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. Be that person who sits next to someone in a lecture theatre and gets talking, that’s what I did – and it’s how I met some of my closest friends to this day.
Visit your friends. Chances are, if you’ve moved away – so have your pals – so go and see them! I wish i’d done this a lot more – in fact, if i’m honest, the only person I actually visited – long distance – was Lewis (bf). This is ridiculous. I’m going to make a huge effort to hop on the train this year and see my gorgeous gals. I was so nervous coming back this summer and felt kind of replaced in a way… TURNS out, so did they… It’s daft, you can have school friends and uni friends – those relationships don’t just disappear, unless you let them. Keep it together – if you love them, they’ll love you back.
Take a breath, it’s not that bad. There are bound to be days/nights when you just need some quiet. I wish I had started this blog last year. Writing is something that, honestly, makes me happy. I don’t claim to be good at it, but it’s a project and hopefully one day it will be a career. BUY some magazines, light a candle and take a moment to pamper yourself. DON’T worry about not fitting in, fit in where and when you want to. JUST give yourself a pat on the back and maybe a pamper to go with it. What you’ve done is amazing – your world has turned upside down and you’re still standing.
Check out what Sunbeams Jess has to say…
Never be lonely,
I was – it’s horrible. But everyone else was lonely too… Give them a call